


Holy

by nimiumcaelo



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Cannibalism, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Character Study, F/F, Lesbian Abigail, Lesbian Character, Poetry, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28442442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimiumcaelo/pseuds/nimiumcaelo
Summary: [adj.] dedicated or consecrated to a god or a religious purpose“Go on—eat it.” -- Raw (2016)
Kudos: 1





	Holy

The world goes in and out of static like a bad TV connection. Abigail’s eyes blink and the picture clears.

The first time she refused, he got mad. He got very mad. She still has the scar. She learned pretty quickly after that not to refuse it again. It was a _gift_ and it would _fuel_ her.

Spacing out in her room, Abigail supposed gods would have felt something similar when they consumed sacrifices. The flesh set heavy and disgustingly holy ( _other_ ) in her stomach. To let anything else touch it would have been blasphemy. So, she abstained, and the flesh passed through her untainted. 

The next day her hair was a shade darker and if she looked at herself too much she saw the girl on the train.

How could she dare to dishonor them by letting them touch _food?_ They weren’t food. They stung her insides and gave her hot sweats late at night and made the glass in her room buzz.

She laughed at her friend’s joke at school and thought about whether her laugh would change once she consumed her.

One of the participants in the Minnesota Starvation Experiment had once called his malnutrition-induced food obsession a “nutritional masturbation.” While not strictly nutrition-based, Abigail figured this was the same thing. Where was the line between imagining her mouth on that girl and her mouth on that girl? Fleshy, tender, sweet, biting—no, wait—too late, I’m trembling on my fingers in the dark. There was no room for shame in the room that held her and the gods of all those other girls. Too many ghosts to add another one.

If the only way she would touch another girl was when she was made into a hot, dripping, sloppy joe, then…

She licked her lips.


End file.
